"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"

  • In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
  • In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
  • In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
  • In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
  • Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
  • In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
  • Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.




  • Judas: *betrays Jesus*
  • Jesus: My father will hear about this




sitcorn:

hey remember that law i forget exactly how it goes but its something along the lines of ‘if you murder someone you go to jail’ whatever happened to that? is that still a thing



harlie-hadbury:

nessagrey:

Koko the gorilla is a resident at the Gorilla Foundation in Woodside, CA and communicates understands spoken english and uses over 1,000 signs to share her feelings and thoughts on daily life. After the first call about Robin’s passing, Koko came to Dr. Patterson with an inquiring look on her face. Dr. Patterson explained that ‘we have lost a dear friend, Robin Williams. Koko was quiet and looked very thoughtful, Koko signed the words for “woman” and “crying.” Koko became very somber, with her head bowed and her lip quivering; she was crying over the loss of her friend.

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"Robin made Koko smile — something she hadn’t done for over six months, ever since her childhood gorilla companion, Michael, passed away. Not only did Robin cheer up Koko, the effect was mutual, and Robin seemed transformed — from a high-energy entertainer, into a mellow, sensitive, empathetic guy, who also happened to be really funny." -Dr. Patterson 

[x]

I’m crying

oh god this is just so adorable and cute and amazing





orangewave:

sagethenate:

orangewave:

i mean really, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid

the little mermaid

fucking christ



realenoshima:

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COCK-A-DOODLE—

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do you think im sexy